Nightmares and Ecstasies of a first job

by Joan Lau

Rule 1: Ask!
Rule 2: You have to earn being liked
Rule 3: Don’t take it personally
Rule 4: There are no real rules
Rule 5: Don’t be a snob

So you have read all those books on how to write a good CV and how to behave at an interview and you landed a job – that ‘first step on the road to success’.

You wonder what it’s going to be like. Well, it’s nothing like the first day at school or university. That’s because at these other places, everyone was like you. A student. You were peers.

Rule #1 – Don’t be afraid to ask people, including the office boy

Don’t be afraid to ask people – even the office boy – if you don’t know how things work. I know, you’re supposed to be a university graduate so how come you can’t figure out the fax machine. But no big deal … better to ask than to goof.

Asking people for help is a way of breaking the ice and making friends. Your colleagues will feel more comfortable about you – and you, you’ll learn faster and make some friends along the way.

Sure, sometimes you feel like a fool asking obvious questions but you’ll survive. I remember my first day at The New Straits Times. There I was in the newsroom and I went up to my news editor to ask when the lunch hour was.

He laughed and told me there was no fixed time. Then he laughed again when I called him, “Mr Boon”. Apparently, in the newsroom, nobody addressed anybody as “Mr”. But I’m glad I erred on the right side of politeness. At least, they knew I was well brought up but a not-so-snooty new kid.

Then there was the time I got chewed out because I was a graduate. “Who do you think you are coming in here and earning (so much) just because you’re a graduate?,” said one boss. “The rest of us have worked here for 10 years and we don’t make that kind of money.”

I wanted to yell at him that it isn’t my fault that I went to university and he didn’t … and that my father worked real hard to put me through university. Again I didn’t.

Today, we are really good friends and I can understand his frustrations. I am glad I didn’t take his outburst personally.

Rule #2 – Don’t expect everybody to like you

There were times along the way when I got upset because people in the office passed comments about how I was ‘friends with the bosses’ and such gossip … As long as your conscience is clear, the best way of handling such ‘phenomena’ is to ignore it.

I learned that this was the best way to deal gossip, if it is totally trivial. And if it is work-related, perhaps confronting the person responsible for an explanation might not be a bad idea.

This doesn’t mean things will be solved instantly. On the contrary, the person may go on to spread ever more vicious stories but you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you have faced up to the situation.

And, of course, there was a senior reporter who came up to me just to say how much he hated the way I dressed. It was my second month at the job … and I didn’t have much money to buy clothes so I was still wearing a lot of cotton skirts and blouses (things I wore at varsity) and my self-confidence was totally shattered.

My news editor (the same wonderful ‘Mr’ Boon) noticed I was upset and asked me what was up. When told about the unkind remark, he advised me to tell the senior reporter that he should look in the mirror before he commented on the way anybody looked.

So, you see, for every unkind remark … or situation, there will be an unexpected kind word or deed. Maybe some years down the line when you are veteran at the working game, you’ll remember this kindness and pass it on.

Rule #3 – Try not to take rejection personally!

This brings us to Rule 3. I know, I know … you did the work so how else can you accept rejection for something you did other than personally?

Well, believe it or not, you learn to deal with these things professionally after you’ve been “rejected” a few times. First, find out why the piece of work was rejected. Did you miss out something? Maybe the research was not thorough enough? Or was the writing style not up to scratch?

Once you have found out the reasons, rewrite the piece (or redo the work) … do it over till you get it right. But remember to ask WHY the work was unsatisfactory. Don’t just go off with your head hanging down to your navel and sulk.

This is also connected with that other horror of real life – making mistakes. Remember, everybody makes them. It’s not the end of the world … but own up to them. If we didn’t make mistakes, we would never learn. Don’t try to look for a scapegoat or dredge up some lame excuse. Own up and then rectify the mistake. Your superiors will appreciate your candour.

I remember committing the terrible sin of misspelling somebody’s name in my news story. My boss called me and asked me if I had asked how the person’s name was spelt.

I admitted that I did not ...and then he told me never to assume the spelling of names, but to always ask for the spelling. I felt smaller than an ant that day but I learned. Also, he didn’t fire me … so you see, it pays to come clean when you make a boo-boo.

Rule #4: There are no real rules

The thing is, there are no real rules in this real working world. You have to learn how to play by ear, know when to go to your boss with a problem (generally, don’t go to him/her for small things … learn to deal with these yourself … and only see the boss if it is a major issue), and never be embarrassed to ask if you don’t know anything.

These loose guidelines don’t apply only at your first job. Each time you change job and start at a new office, the guidelines begin all over again.

Nine years after working in one office, I decided on a change in career. I can tell you that all the self-confidence I built up during my first job didn’t help me from being nervous as I stepped through the door of that new office and into my second job.

But it does get easier. Now I am almost an expert at sensing out the people who are most likely to become my friends at a new office.

And I no longer expect people to ask me out for lunch the first few days at a new place. Instead I ask them if they wouldn’t mind me joining them.

There are no books on how to deal with the real world but you make up your own rules as you go along. Certain things you learned in kindergarten will help though; be polite, ask permission before you take anything, return things to their proper places and play fair.

Rule #5: Don’t be a snob

Oh, one more thing. It worked for me and should work for you. Don’t think you’re too good to be friends with the secretaries and office boys. Most of them have been with the organisation longer than the managing director and can give you the inside story on anything; Good people to have on your side.

I hope you now feel like you’re ready to face the world.